Interview with Alithia Maltese: Kinbaku and alternative sexuality teacher

Today we have a chat with Alithia Maltese: kinbaku teacher and educator of alternative sexuality.

Bondage is one of the most widespread erotic fantasies, it is the practice in which the possibility of movement of a person and / or his sensory capacity is limited or temporarily prevented.

Kinbaku, also called shibari, is a form of rope bondage, therefore bondage made with ropes, and was born in the last century in Japan.

The rope adapts easily to any situation, regardless of the type of game. In addition to immobilizing and creating a sense of constriction, the rope can be used to adapt to the body of the tied person, follow their shapes, enhance them, which is rarely possible with tools such as wrist bands and anklets.

The goal of those who practice kinbaku is to share a unique experience with the partner each time, to find a way to communicate with the ropes, procure and take pleasure through constriction, with positions and ligatures that cause very intense sensations in the person who is tied. .


> How was this passion born?

As a child I loved to tie things up. I used what must have been a jump rope: chairs, tables, bottles, nothing could stay in its place. I built forts, tents, castles. Upon reaching sexual maturity, I began fantasizing about bonding people.

In a short time the fantasy became reality. I felt, however, that something was missing. Using scarves and belts wasn't that satisfying. Playing with wax and having rough sex with the people I dated didn't tell everything about me.

Also I needed to talk to someone who had my same instincts, I needed confrontation. So I asked for advice from a friend who I knew had the same interests as me and she suggested that I join FetLife, a social network dedicated to BDSM that has nearly nine million members worldwide.

Here I discovered the existence of the Turin community, parties and bondage courses. It was 2014. In 2015 I started attending the bondage courses of those who are still my teachers today and from there I have never stopped.




What are the qualities that make a professional professional?

Unfortunately, there is no degree in BDSMology.

There are many people who improvise and it is easy to get noticed by talking about topics commonly considered bizarre. Personally I decided to study and prepare myself with the help of professionals (psychologists, sexologists, bondage teachers), since I deal with rather delicate issues.

As far as shibari is concerned, there are certifications only in relation to styles: if you want to use the title of instructor of a particular style you will have to pass an exam with the master who conceived or who carries out that technique.

The only way to get information on the reliability of courses, educators and educators is through your local community. However, there are elements that for me distinguish a professional: preparation, always continuing to study and updating, seriousness, carrying out one's business with competence and efficiency, clarity in communication.


> What kinds of people do you see getting closest to bondage?

It is not possible to draw a precise profile because bondage and BDSM in general is transversal, it crosses all ages, social classes, genders, a bit like sexuality, can affect anyone.

I can say, however, that most of my students are people between 25 and 40 (younger people are often interested but cannot afford continuous study due to the cost of the courses and materials, while older people are often busy with family or work and are unlikely to organize themselves).





> How do you see the maturation of the bondage community?

With the passing of the years there is an increasing awareness, fewer people improvise. For example, when I started practicing in private, or when I started being sexually active, I didn't even know that what I was doing, that is, immobilizing my partner, had a name.

Only many years later did I discover the existence of social networks, public events and courses.

It is now much easier to find courses, just an online search, and there is much more on offer. One has gone from practicing groping in the secret of one's own room to attending public events.




> How do you separate work from your personal life?

It is very difficult to separate work from private life in my case: most of my friends, like most of my students, are part of the BDSM community, of which I am one of the organizers here in Turin.

My partner is a kinkster, my partner and my best friends are my collaborators. Also, bonding is the thing I love most in the world so I would do it all the time, in and out of class. For my birthday at home we had a bondage performance by my students and most of my staff.

It happens to talk about work during a dinner as it happens to go out with my students after a course. Mine is an activity strictly linked to sexuality, community, personal sphere and personally I find strength in this, my social network is my greatest resource both in private life and in work.

It can be tiring at times, especially when most of the lessons were in my studio, which is in my and my partner's home. Now, just to try to have more space, more intimacy, I have moved most of my activities to school, a space shared with associations that deal with performing art, and I have established rules such as answering the phone only at certain times, don't always answer everyone immediately by interrupting what I'm doing, don't look at the phone while I'm at the gym or at dinner or if I'm out for the weekend.

They seem trivial things but when I started I was completely absorbed, I had to invent ways to disconnect a little.


> What is your favorite part of your job?

The part I love most is sharing my students' growth, seeing them progress, seeing how it impacts their lives, their relationships. Among my students there are couples who have small children.

For them, coming to class means taking the time dedicated to the couple, building a new intimacy, rediscovering themselves in a new complicity. A few days ago a student wrote to me: "I want to become a good rigger (rigger is the person who binds), you opened a world to me".

Another said to me: "I have to thank you so much for this community work in BDSM, I feel so much at home."

Awards like these give me confidence, they make me understand that I am going exactly in the direction I set myself at the beginning of all this: to allow people to approach BDSM and bondage in the safest way possible, using the tools to improve quality. of their relationships.


> What advice do you feel you can give to those who decide to approach this hobby?

Don't improvise.

You can try simple ligatures, on the wrists, on the ankles, but to do more structured things you need specific knowledge or you risk hurting. Rather instead of using tried-on ropes with bondage tape, or using other tools such as classic handcuffs, anklets, wrist bands, there are a lot of tools you can do bondage with besides ropes.

If, on the other hand, you like the idea of tying up, building a new communication through the ropes, you want to learn and get involved, then take courses and ask for references on the person you want to learn from.
Regardless of the instrument you choose, always remember that what you are doing is doing it for your own pleasure and that of others, the basis of BDSM is consent.

Never force anyone and never allow anyone to make you do things you don't want to do.





> Do you have any events or workshops in the next period?

We have TNG, The Next Generation, an informal meeting for people between 18 and 35 who are interested in BDSM, every fourth Friday of the month. In Turin I am the founder and organizer of this event.

For people aged 18 and over (without the limit of 35, therefore) there is the informal aperitif munch for people interested in BDSM, every second Wednesday of the month.

For those who want to attend sessions every last Friday of the month there is the Wish and Punishment party, in which I am a resident rigger, so it is possible to see me tied up, usually with my partner.

Private lessons with me are by appointment, so they don't have fixed dates, while the courses and other activities I organize in relation to bondage are always held on weekends.
In Turin we have a very busy schedule! To stay up to date or to find out which events are closest to the readers' cities, just contact me privately on Instagram or by email: alithiamaltese@gmail.com.


Thank you Alithia!
If you want to follow her on social networks, you can find her on instagram by name @alithiamaltese!